My husband, Cyril lives and works in the U.S., was born to French parents and reared in Rio de Janiero and Rotterdam. At times he shares his observations of American culture with me. I was intrigued by his recent remark, “I get frustrated with how mono-cultural the US...
White Privilege …Really?
When I first heard the words “white privilege” years ago, I bristled at the term. My colleague, Pastor Sims and I were mid-conversation, so I didn’t tell him it bothered me. I wouldn’t have known what to say anyway. As I reflect back on that moment, I remember feeling...
When Silence Isn’t Golden
While interviewing Pastor Sims and me about our monthly cross-race discussions at Word of Life Christian Church in St. Louis, YouTuber Kim St. Clair asked me, “What were you told about Black folks when you were growing up?” Not much, I told her. Kim looked curious. We...
Listening Too
“What makes listening hard is that sometimes we do not really care how the other person feels,” explains Burley-Allen, (1995) in Listening, the Forgotten Skill. “This usually happens when we ourselves don’t feel heard, or when we have too much to say. The key to...
I Thought I Was Listening
After reading my December Blog, Taking Time, my sister, Anne Collier called to tell me how much she appreciated the reminder to be relationship-based, as opposed to task-based, even at work. As a journalist, youth advocate and director of The Net Safety Collaborative,...
Taking Time
Sarah and Paul Krumsieg, co-owner-operators of Dr. Jazz Soda Fountain & Grill in Lebanon, Illinois, know all about taking time. In fact, it was 15 years ago at their Soda Fountain that they took the time to talk with my family and me during our first visit to...
Can I Ask You a Question?
When I sat down for coffee with Bob Bunch, Owner of Bunch on Biz, the first thing he inquired was, “Can I ask you a question?” I said sure, and noted how cool it was that he asked. He was surprised by my comment and after a slight hesitation, looked at me and probed,...
How Do I Respond?
How Can Diversity Increase Sales? was a workshop I did last month for a real estate group. After the presentation one of the agents, Matt Kohler, who is also a dad, had a question. Matt asked, “How do I respond to my kids when they point out differences?” Good...
How We Got Here
As events were unfolding in Ferguson, Missouri, my family and I were in France visiting family. We returned in time for school to start on Tuesday, August 12, 2014, four days after Michael Brown was killed. The following Saturday morning, August 16, I asked my middle...
Colorism in Action
In my blog, I work to recognize what unconscious thoughts and behaviors I have that keep me from really “seeing” a person. I wonder, “What reactions to characteristics such as skin color, gender, culture, and religious affiliation, keep me from seeing a person with...