In business, what often looks like miscommunication is actually a missed opportunity to work effectively across cultural differences. Leaders who recognize this don’t just reduce friction, they strengthen execution, build trust, and improve retention.

I lived in central Mexico for four years. So you’d think I would have remembered, but I didn’t, until I was deep in the middle of planning my daughter’s wedding in Cozumel … and getting increasingly frustrated.

It started as excitement

We arrived early to begin preparations. Much of the staff already knew about the wedding. There was energy. Warmth. A sense that something special was coming.

Then the surprises started. No one told us when things were happening. Meetings appeared or didn’t. Details we thought were confirmed weren’t. And things we didn’t even know to ask about suddenly mattered.

It felt like we were supposed to just know. From my perspective, it felt evasive. Uncommunicative. Unbusinesslike.

But I knew that I should know better. Because I’d lived in Mexico for four years and I ‘d come from a different culture. I also knew that I was thinking as the mother-of-the-bride (maybe freaking out just a little?).

Two kinds of cultures

If you’ve ever thought…

• “Why won’t they just tell me what’s going on?”
• “Why is this so unclear?”
• “Why can’t they just be direct?”

You’re in the same trap I was (well, probably not the mother-of-the-bride part).

Because here’s what I forgot: I was operating from a low-context culture mindset of the United States and many western nations, where clarity is verbal, direct, and explicit.

But in Mexico, like many traditional nations, I was talking to people operating inside a high-context culture, where meaning is shared through relationships, timing, and what’s not said.

In high-context cultures…

• You read between the lines
• You pick up on cues
• You infer meaning

In low-context cultures…

• You say it clearly
• You document it
• You confirm it

Neither is wrong. In low-context cultures, results can be attained more efficiently. In high-context cultures, getting to results might take a more focused attention but can be more lasting and meaningful to the people involved.

Historically, stable, tightly-knit societies (e.g., Mexico, Japan, China) with shared history, traditions, and language developed, allowing members to understand unspoken cues. Societies formed through rapid immigration or multicultural mixing (e.g., U.S.) lack a single shared history or deep social bond, requiring explicit communication to avoid misunderstandings.

But when you don’t recognize the difference between the two you can misread people, like I did.

What I got wrong

I had thought our wedding planner, Rita, was being disorganized. She wasn’t. She was operating in a different communication system, one where:

• A meeting doesn’t need to be over-explained
• Timing is more fluid
• Relationships carry more weight than documentation

And me? I wasn’t in the mindset to “read between the lines.” So instead of adapting…I got frustrated.

The moment it shifted

During a quiet moment of reflection, I had a sudden realization: Stop assuming you understand; start checking. So I changed how I showed up. I started asking:

• “What should I expect next?”
• “Who else is involved?”
• “When will this happen?”
• “What am I not thinking about?”

And I followed up. Consistently. Not because they were failing, but because we were all working across cultures. And so often, within the U.S., though predominantly a low-context culture, we are working with people who are originally from low- and high-context cultures.

It worked

The wedding turned out beautifully. The flowers? More beautiful than I imagined. The setting? Thoughtful and elegant. The experience? Memorable.

The groom said it was the best wedding he’d ever been to. Guests said the same. Both families were thrilled.

And here’s what’s important: That outcome happened because of what both parties brought to the outcome: Rita and her team’s care, creativity, and heart and our consistent clarity, questions and follow-up.

That combination is what business leaders can miss. It’s what culturally intelligent leadership looks like.

Where this shows up in your business

Apply this to your organization. You may think:

• Your team is unclear
• Your partners are dropping the ball
• Your leaders aren’t aligned

But in many cases, you’re not dealing with incompetence. You’re dealing with different communication norms, especially if you’re leading across regions, functions, generations, or power dynamics.

What looks like…

• Avoidance
• Silence
• Lack of ownership

Might actually be…

• Respect
• Deference
• Or a different set of communication norms

If you label that as a performance issue too quickly, you create friction that you don’t need. That friction can cost you speed, trust, and staff retention, not because they don’t care, but because they don’t feel understood.

Here’s the leadership move:

Replace assumption with verification.

Instead of saying, “Why didn’t they tell me?” ask:

• “How does communication typically happen on your team?”
• “What’s expected here that hasn’t been said out loud?”
• “Where do I need to ask instead of just wait for something to happen?”

This is cultural intelligence in practice. Cultural intelligence is compassion for a person within their context; it’s the ability to understand how their experiences, norms, and environment shape how they communicate, decide, and act.

It’s not theoretical, it’s operational. And it directly impacts execution.

If I had made that shift earlier, I would have saved myself days of frustration during the wedding planning. Don’t make the same mistake in your business. Before you label something as poor communication, ask:

“Am I seeing a problem or a difference I don’t yet understand?”

That question alone can reduce friction, increase clarity, and help your best people stay engaged. That’s how you turn everyday miscommunication into retention, productivity, and trust.

If you’re navigating conversations where context matters as much as content, this short guide will help you apply cultural intelligence in real time.
👉 [Download the Cultural Intelligence Micro Practice]