“Can I ask your advice?” asked Tatum, in our coaching session.

Tatum is one of her organization’s top project managers. She brings her projects in on time and under budget. But she has been struggling to trust her boss and felt unsure about what to do with the feedback she’d received.

I said, “Sure you can.”

Tatum said, “How do I respond to feedback I’ve gotten?”

“I know it has been hard with your boss. So it’s tough to know what to do with her feedback,” I replied.

“That’s just it,” Tatum said. “This feedback didn’t come from my boss. It came from another colleague, a mentor of mine in the organization. He has had more than two decades of experience in project management and genuinely cares for people.”

I said, “Based on your current relationship with your boss, I can understand you feel suspicious. It may be hard, but don’t carry that suspicion over to other relationships – especially him. The compassion he regularly expresses for you and your context is telling.”

Tatum said, “How so?”

“When a person works to understand more about you and your situation before they pass judgment, that’s cultural intelligence in action,” I said, feeling real respect for him. “Because they care enough to get more of the story, you can trust that their feedback is genuine and trustworthy.”

Tatum said, “That makes a lot of sense. That leads me to my second question. He told me he has noticed that when I’m tired in a meeting, I start talking fast, stop listening and smile a lot. He says the meeting is no longer productive at that point, and I should just end it. This is why he suggested during the last meeting that we ‘take a break and reconvene tomorrow.’”

I said, “Now that you know you can trust it, how did that feedback land on you?”

“It’s interesting,” Tatum said. “I never noticed before that I shut down in meetings. But he’s right. And you’re right, because it came from him and his big heart, I could actually hear his constructive criticism.”

She added, “But I don’t know how to stop talking too fast and past people.”

I said, “You don’t stop. You’re behaving that way to take care of you.”

That gave Tatum pause. Then she said, “That’s interesting. But how do I care for me and still follow his suggestion? I don’t want to ignore his advice.”

I said, “Don’t ignore it. Let it teach you. With this new self-awareness of how you’re impacting others, you can set up meetings that take care of you and them.”

Tatum said, “How do I do that?”

“What’s an optimal meeting length for you?” I asked her. “Cultural intelligence is compassion for a person—including you—within their unique context. How long can you handle meeting with people before you start to zone out?”

“I can handle about 45 minutes,” she said.

I said, “Great that you know. So schedule meetings for 45 minutes. Make sure you send out a quick agenda ahead of time so no one is surprised by the timing and can be prepared to get right on task.”

Tatum replied, “I’d like to but people around here are accustomed to 60-minute meetings, though.”

“I know,” I said. “But you can sell meeting-downsizing with your cultural intelligence. Tell your mentor you’re honoring his wisdom and cutting meetings back so everyone, including you, is more productive. Tell your direct reports that everyone could use an extra 15 minutes in their day, so you’re making that happen. You can show how everybody wins.”

Tatum said, “I like how we all win with this approach.

I said, “That’s how you know you’re using your cultural intelligence—you take into account your needs and theirs to create a win-win.

Tatum said, “I appreciate your advice. Thanks!”

Takeaway for leaders

Feedback is especially critical in complex high-stakes environments like healthcare. Yet studies show that 65% of employees say they want more feedback. But only 29% say the feedback they receive is actually helpful (Gallup, 2019). In healthcare specifically, studies link effective feedback and communication to improved patient outcomes and higher staff retention. (BMJ Quality & Safety, 2022)

Teaching employees how to discern and respond to feedback with cultural intelligence isn’t a “soft skill”, rather it’s a strategic investment. It strengthens individuals, teams, and the entire organization. And in healthcare, it leads to better patient outcomes, stronger retention, and more resilient teams. -Amy Narishkin, PhD

If you found Tatum’s story helpful, I’d love to hear from you!
👇 What’s one piece of feedback that changed the way you work or lead?
Share your experience in the comments — let’s learn from each other’s journeys.

And if you want to dive deeper into mastering feedback and building cultural intelligence in your team or organization, connect with me here or send me a message. Let’s create more win-win conversations together!

Photo by Ronda Dorsey on Unsplash