“Have you ever seen this test before?” my friend Julie asked in an email. She’d just completed the Harvard Implicit Association Test for cultural competency training. “I am shocked at how biased my results are.” she said.

When I saw her later in the day, she told me she had thought of herself as an open-minded person and couldn’t believe the extent to which she preferred white faces over Black faces. I told her I experienced the same surprise when I had taken the test a couple of years ago. Julie and I are not alone. Co-producers of the Implicit Association Test (IAT), Mahzarin Banaji and Anthony Greenwald explain in their book Blindspot: Hidden Biases of Good People (2013) that almost 75% of those who take the Race IAT on the internet or in laboratory studies reveal an automatic white preference. And for those who take the test and consider themselves egalitarian, the news is particularly distressing to learn that the Race IAT is a moderate predictor of racially discriminatory behavior.

Hidden Bias Defined

According to Banaji and Greenwald (2013), hidden biases are bits of knowledge about social groups. “These bits of knowledge are stored in our brains because we encounter them so frequently in our cultural environments. Once lodged in our minds, hidden biases can influence our behavior toward members of particular social groups, but we remain oblivious to their influence. Most people find it unbelievable that their behavior can be guided by mental content of which they are unaware.”

However, it is more believable when we consider researcher Daniel Kahneman’s (Thinking, Fast and Slow, 2011) explanation that there are two different ways the brain forms thoughts. He calls them System 1 and System 2 thinking. System 1 thinking is fast, automatic, frequent, judgmental, stereotypic, and subconscious. System 2 thinking is slow, effortful, infrequent, logical, calculating, conscious and reflective. The automatic System 1 thinking, that we all experience, has been shaped by the culture around us. Being repeatedly exposed to images in movies, news media, stories, jokes, etc. within our culture reinforces the automatic stereotype on a level of which we are not even conscious. As a product of our culture, we are not always aware of how our actions are influenced by the stereotypes presented within the culture. In fact, according Uta Frith of The Royal Society (2015), prejudice and discrimination are inevitable by-products of the efficiency of the automated System 1 thinking.

Frith (2015) explains that the ability to distinguish friend from foe helped early humans survive. The ability to quickly and automatically categorize people (using System 1 thinking) according to social and other characteristics is a fundamental quality of the human mind that helps give order to life’s complexity and keep us safe. So while we cannot help putting people into categories in the first place, where our power lies is in the second place. Once we are aware that unconscious bias exists in all of us and we see someone we perceive to be threatening, we can check to make sure we’re physically and emotionally safe. And if so, we can catch the bias of System 1 thinking and instead switch over to the slower more reflective System 2 thinking, and act more intentionally and, perhaps inclusively.

Can’t Fix It, but We Can Outsmart It

In their three-minute video, The Royal Society explains we can’t fix unconscious bias, we all have it. However, with self-awareness, we can begin to outsmart it. Banaji and Greenwald (2013) explain that outsmarting unconscious bias requires:

1. Awareness,
2. A desire to improve, and
3. A method for improving.

The Royal Society offers a method for improving. Frith (2015)  says there is no point in being defensive. We can never completely access our own unconscious cognitive processes, but we can achieve more fairness and improve the quality of our decision-making if we have a commitment to questioning cultural stereotypes. When preparing for a committee meeting or interview, we need to:

• Deliberately work to slow down our decision making
• Reconsider reasons for our decision-making
• Question cultural stereotypes that seem truthful
• Be open to seeing what is new and unfamiliar and increase your knowledge of other groups
• Monitor one another for unconscious bias. We may need to call out bias when we see it.

Clearly, we can’t outsmart unconscious bias alone. To create a culture of belonging where productivity and innovation thrive, we need to take intentional steps to become aware of the assumptions that are hidden to us. We can seek to improve by putting into place an action plan that enables us to begin noticing when bias is creeping in. Then we can address unconscious bias before it undermines our intention to be inclusive and inadvertently alienates our colleagues and customers. -AN

If you’d like to implement an action plan to outsmart unconscious bias in your company or organization, email me at [email protected].

“I don’t know, maybe it’s OK to end a relationship in order to stand up for what you believe in,” stated my friend Patte. Later that day, I found I was still thinking about her remark. I asked her what prompted the statement. She explained that she is a minority; a woman and a Jew. She was hoping that a friend of hers on Facebook would understand her feelings and denounce the neo-Nazi group that had protested in Charlottesville; instead the friend defended the group’s actions. Patte said to me, “Amy, can you imagine, people were wearing swastikas just a week ago!”

Whereas ending a relationship is one option, there are others. And if a person is a colleague, customer or neighbor, ending a relationship may not be possible. To open up other options, civil dialogue is necessary.

Patte was hurt. About this friend, Patte said, “This is a statement about her character. She couldn’t even take a second to hear what I had to say. She only defended herself.” Patte only wanted her friend to hear her out and acknowledge her experience. Had the friend done so, Patte probably wouldn’t have decided her friend had a character flaw.

Three Possible Responses

However, the friend probably wasn’t lacking in character but more likely lacking the skills necessary for staying in productive dialogue. Whether it is online or in-person, when someone says something hurtful, there are three possible responses:

1. Passive – remain silent, which suggests that you agree with what was said;
2. Aggressive – lash out with a counter attack; or
3. Assertive – affirm the other person’s experience or feelings and set boundaries.

An assertive message may sound like, “I’m hurt by what you said. You’re important to me so I don’t want to lash out. I need to take space to let my heart heal. We can talk at a later time.”

My sister, Social Media Expert Anne Collier, told me that this can be said online or in-person. However, she suggested that it may be best to say this in a direct message so it does not look like a public rebuke. Both in person and on social media, a one-on-one message encourages further dialogue.

Three Steps We Can Take

In order to encourage civil dialogue, it’s important to:

1. Acknowledge that our colleague or neighbor may have another perspective or experience, even if it’s different from our own;
2. Accept the difference without judgment – the differences just are, without being right or wrong or good or bad;
3. Act by affirming the other person’s experience, though not your own. This is done through active listening, a skill defined in my previous blog. Active listening does not indicate agreement, just understanding. And it’s through deep listening that we learn others’ stories and may discover common interests or concerns that are the basis for dialogue.

Questions that Promote Self-awareness

Civil discourse is the foundation for any productive personal or professional relationship. Before my friend, Pastor AmyRuth Bartlett, enters into what she perceives as a tricky conversation, she reflects on these questions:

• Am I safe with this person?
• Do I want to have compassion for this person?
• Am I frustrated with him or her or someone else, in a way that I might take it out on the person?
• Am I looking for a Higher Power to show up and open doors to give me clarity and wisdom?
• Am I willing to have a conversation that goes nowhere?

These questions reveal a level of self-awareness that is essential if we are going to enter into productive dialogue that can potentially build truer, long-term relationships. Although initially hard because of the vulnerability we may feel, a willingness to learn and be open provides an opportunity for new and deeper relationships that we may not have ever experienced before.

In work and personal relationships, productivity and enjoyment are lost when there is an inability to have civil dialogue. Passively ignoring or tolerating people and systems may seem like the right thing to do in the short term, but we have to wonder if resentment toward this person or system is quietly building up over time, causing us to sacrifice peace, enjoyment and productivity. If so, we can step into the waters of civil discourse, which may lead to a better collaboration and innovation, and even more meaningful friendship. -AN

To attract and retain productive people, leaders need to create a culture of safety and belonging. With a PhD in Adult Education, Amy works with CEO’s, management teams and those who want to take the lead in organizations to effectively implement the tools for cultural competency, collaboration, and innovation. To increase client diversity and workplace productivity, profit and personal job satisfaction, contact Amy

“The $350,000 would be better spent on education. Why is the City of St. Louis spending so much to pull down a confederate statue in Forest Park?” Linda’s protest echoed that of others around the city and country. That morning my daughter Abby had sent me a link to the “Special Address” given by New Orleans’ Mayor Mitch Landrieu just hours before city workers removed the statue of General Robert E. Lee. “…for a long time, Landrieu explained, even though I grew up in one of New Orleans’ most diverse neighborhoods, even with my family’s long proud history of fighting for civil rights … I must have passed by those monuments a million times without giving them a second thought.”

Landrieu hadn’t thought about the impact of such statues. It wasn’t until a friend asked him to consider the monuments from the perspective of an African American mother or father trying to explain to their fifth grade daughter who Robert E. Lee is and why he stands atop New Orleans. “Can you look into that young girl’s eyes and convince her that Robert E. Lee is there to encourage her? Do you think she will feel inspired and hopeful by that story? Do these monuments help her see a future with limitless potential? Have you ever thought that if her potential is limited, yours and mine are too?”

We all get caught up in traditions without being aware of their impact on others. For example, in your business, what historical “monuments,” sacred cows, systems and values are discouraging productivity and innovation? What systems leave employees feeling diminished or disenfranchised? Do you know what they are? How can you find out?

What did Mayor Landrieu do? 

Landrieu accepted the fact that these monuments were not an inspiration to all who stood in their shadows. In fact, he acknowledged in his speech, “These statues are not just stone and metal. They are not just innocent remembrances of a benign history. These monuments purposefully celebrate a fictional, sanitized Confederacy; ignoring the death, ignoring the enslavement, and the terror that it actually stood for.”

By acknowledging that some of his constituents were left feeling diminished and discouraged, he was able to act and knew it was, “…going to be tough, but you elected me to do the right thing, not the easy thing, and this is what that looks like.”

What can we do? 

We can:

1. Acknowledge that our colleagues and customers may have another perspective or experience, even if it’s different from our own;
2. Accept the difference without judgment (the differences just are, without being right or wrong or good or bad);
3. Act according to what’s best for everyone involved, not only the majority. Some of our “monuments” silence people or make them feel trapped. Watch for opportunities to listen to others’ stories and find out how many others feel that way. That may reveal systems or long-held traditions that are not serving the greater good of our business or organization.

If we do not accept the fact that people have different perspectives, feelings and experiences, we shut down the opportunity to learn. That leaves us unaware of the impact of our actions and words on others, destroying possibilities for authentic working relationships. However, if we accept and acknowledge peoples’ different responses to our “monuments,” we can problem solve together, and reap the benefits of more productivity, collaboration and innovation.

What did the City of St. Louis do? 

The City of St. Louis did not ultimately pay to take down the statue in Forest Park. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports the Missouri Civil War Museum paid for the removal and relocation of the monument. Like Landrieu, we do not deny our history, but place the monument within its historical context. By so doing, we are reminded to reconsider the “monuments” we cherish in both our public spaces and private sectors and ask if they serve as an inspiration to all impacted. -AN

To attract and retain productive people, leaders need to create a culture of safety and belonging. With a PhD in Adult Education, Amy works with CEO’s, management teams and those who want to take the lead in organizations to effectively implement the tools for reconciliation, collaboration, and innovation. To increase client diversity and workplace productivity, profit and personal job satisfaction, contact Amy

After the shooting death of Philando Castile during a traffic stop, award-winning author Marlon James took his frustration about racism in Minnesota to Facebook. In an essay, Smaller, and Smaller, and Smaller, James noted, “You will never know how it feels to realize that it doesn’t matter how many magazine articles I get, [books I publish], or which state names a day after me. Tomorrow when I get on my bike, I am big black guy, who might be shot before the days end, because my very size will make a cop feel threatened.”

His story of vulnerability has since gone viral and prompted an interview with National Public Radio. About Minnesota’s culture James explained, “What I see here is a lot of what I call the dude-I-don’t-see-color problem. The problem being colorblind, the problem being, I don’t think about race – is that you never see the absence of it.” In a society where we never actually have an absence of race, and yet say we are colorblind, we make people feel small and invisible when we downplay their struggles. To some of us, playing down our differences may appear kind, but James points out that this approach is not working. In fact, his life is at stake.

This interview was brought to my attention by a CEO, a client of Empowering Partners. Having just taken the Intercultural Development Inventory (IDI), an assessment tool that reveals an organization or individual’s developmental stage of cultural proficiency, she recognized that James was objecting to the minimization of peoples’ experience and feelings. Considering that 65% of people that take the IDI assessment are found to be in the stage of Minimization (noted in previous blog The Impact of Minimization), this is a problem we all have to work to solve.

Minimization Defined

Minimization is one of the five stages of intercultural competence. The stages are:

1. Denial (misses differences);
2. Polarization (judges differences);
3. Minimization (de-emphasizes differences);
4. Acceptance (deeply comprehends differences); or
5. Adaptation (bridges across differences).

People at the stage of Minimization, minimize cultural differences and focus on the commonalities. The IDI assessment developer, Dr. Mitch Hammer explains that people of majority culture tend to de-emphasize differences in order to maintain the status quo and avoid conflict. Whereas people of minority cultures de-emphasize differences in order to get along, fit in and minimize risk.

Steps We Can Take

Ultimately, if we want to avoid conflict and minimize risk, we must acknowledge our different histories, experiences and feelings. This work may sound trivial but without it our unconscious bias stays in the dark. Ignorance of our bias allows lives to be threatened.

Seeing our own unconscious bias for the first time, can make us feel uncomfortable.  In fact, we may feel:

1. Exposed, which leads to,
2. Fear, and that makes us want to,
3. Hide behind our commonalities.

However, if we are willing to come out of hiding behind minimization, feel the fear, and share our vulnerability, we have a connection point with another human being. James’ essay is our example. He felt his fear and invited his readers to share in his vulnerability. It was there we could connect with his humanity. No one is small or invisible at this point of connection.

In the interview, James reminds us, “…to a huge extent, mainstream Americans, white Americans have a big role to play.” If we do this work of acknowledging our different histories, experiences, and feelings, as well as our common humanity, perhaps we can become collectively more aware of the bias that belittles our African American brothers and sisters and consequently threatens their lives.

Collective Work

So to the CEO’s point: minimization isn’t working. Encouraging her team to share their stories and learn one another’s similarities and differences, allows them to come together on a personal level. When people feel safe and included (not small and invisible) productivity and innovation blossoms. A company can then hire even more people from diverse backgrounds, bringing about further innovation and market reach.

A recent participant of the IDI assessment and trained in cultural compentency, said, “Now I listen and hear people out before I draw conclusions, rather than just going on my assumptions. When we get to know people, I’ve learned we actually have the same issues and can share ideas with each other.” Another participant explained that she had gotten so caught up in just the day to day of running the business that she’d forgotten to see things through the eyes of her employees. Once she slowed down, really sat and listened to her staff, she saw noticeable improvement in their productivity. In particular, one young man was able to not let the small stuff get to him, and get more work done.

Marlon James has called for a change. He and others don’t want or need to feel small or threatened. As uncomfortable as recognizing our differences may be initially, that is exactly the role we can all play to expose unconscious bias and to build safer, more productive work environments.

Thanks to Pastor AmyRuth Bartlett for helping me understand the three steps we can take to come out of hiding from real relationships.

My husband, Cyril lives and works in the U.S., was born to French parents and reared in Rio de Janiero and Rotterdam. At times he shares his observations of American culture with me. I was intrigued by his recent remark, “I get frustrated with how mono-cultural the US can be.” I found this was a curious statement from an American who regularly spends time with foreign-born nationals like himself. Then I realized what he was referring to is how many people focus on their commonalities, and minimize the differences. According to Dr. Mitch Hammer, 65% of individuals that take the Intercultural Development Inventory (IDI) (a diagnostic tool that measures an individual or organization’s inter-cultural proficiency) are in the developmental stage of Minimization. Minimization highlights the tendency to focus on commonalities across cultures that can mask important cultural differences in values, perceptions and behaviors.

Developmental Stages of Intercultural Competence

“Intercultural competence is the capability to accurately understand and adapt behavior to
cultural difference and commonality.” Hammer says. Competence is measured in five developmental stages:

1. Denial (misses differences),
2. Polarization (judges differences),
3. Minimization (de-emphasize differences),
4. Acceptance (deeply comprehends differences), or
5. Adaptation (bridges across differences).

Minimization in a multi-cultural society like the United States impacts people of both majority and minority cultures. People of majority culture tend to de-emphasize differences in order to maintain the status quo and avoid conflict. Hammer explains that, “…highlighting commonalities masks equal recognition of cultural differences due to less cultural self-awareness.” Whereas people of minority cultures de-emphasize differences in order to get along, fit in and minimize risk. Hammer says it’s used, “…as a strategy for navigating values and practices largely determined by the dominant culture group.”

As a result, Minimization can be a cause for strife. The result of such thought and behavior is that people of majority culture feel tongue-tied and unable to communicate across race and culture. On the other hand, people of minority cultures can feel invisible and stifled from expressing feelings and thoughts. In both cases, people are losing the opportunity to connect authentically with people they perceive to be different. As you might guess, cultural Minimization greatly affects quality of life and work for all.

The Impact of Minimization

Recently, a corporate leadership team I am working with took the IDI. After seeing the data that the majority of their team members are at the Minimization level, they began to see how that could be impacting their company’s culture and ultimate growth. They realized that if they remained in Minimization, people would:

• Not want to share different ideas, or stick their necks out
• Not be able to grow because people don’t want to make waves
• Become resolved to the status quo and won’t be open to new ideas
• Feel shut down and not valued
• Not experience or feel trust
• Make assumptions about others rather than finding out the truth

Summing it up, a team member pointed out that overall conformity would increase and there would be a stifling lack of engagement in the company.

What We Can Do

At each of my workshops, I suggest these interim steps:

• Acknowledge: see the differences, as well as the commonalities
• Accept: practice accepting the differences without judgment (the differences just are, without being right or wrong or good or bad)
• Act: practice being curious (wonder how someone came to their perspective or how their differences were shaped)

It’s this attitude of acknowledgement and acceptance that fosters the development of authentic relationships where people are free to communicate and get to know one another. It’s also this attitude that innovates more effective processes and growth in corporate settings.

To learn more about the Intercultural Development Inventory or how to become more inter-culturally effective, email Amy. -AN

While interviewing Pastor Sims and me about our monthly cross-race discussions at Word of Life Christian Church in St. Louis, YouTuber Kim St. Clair asked me, “What were you told about Black folks when you were growing up?”

Not much, I told her. Kim looked curious. We didn’t talk about race. We didn’t need to; besides, as a child, when I pointed out someone’s difference, I was shushed. I distinctly remember when I was about six years old, the doorbell rang and I ran to answer it. The gentleman at the door asked for my dad. I had seen the man before; he’d done carpentry work around the house. From the doorway, I called, “Dad, Mr. Black is here.” Before I knew it, I was shuffled to the kitchen and sat on a chair. My dad whispered to me that his name is not Mr. Black but Mr. White. I told him that wasn’t possible since he’s Black. My dad shook his head in disgust and told me to sit on the chair and think about what I’d done. I’m not sure how long I sat there but I do remember being confused about what I’d done wrong.

When I’ve related that story to fellow whites, they’re not surprised. They had similar experiences as children; being punished, shamed or shushed for pointing out differences. It was considered rude. It might upset someone. And because a characteristic of American majority culture is to maintain peace, it’s shameful to point out that which causes hurt feelings.

When Silence is Not Golden

Kim was surprised to learn I was silenced as a child in order to avoid hurt feelings. She didn’t know that cultural framework existed in some homes. She said, “I thought the silence meant that whites didn’t want to be around me, be around us Black folks. I understood the silence meant we aren’t worth talking to.” I had no idea the impact of my silence could be so painful to her. I might not have known if Kim hadn’t told me. I pointed out that this is a good example of why Pastor Sims and I co-facilitate our Courageous Conversations each month. In a safe environment, information about the impact of our behavior is brought to light. It’s this learning that allows us to become more self-aware, grow in our empathy, and change our behavior. Having helped me consider the impact of my actions, I asked her, “So how can I do better?

When to Break the Silence

Kim said, “You know, it actually only takes a simple act of validation, someone just taking the time to see me. It’s like a person doesn’t even see me when he or she doesn’t speak up. When terrible episodes of killing or abuse are in the news, and whites around me remain silent, it stresses me out. It’s hard to show up for work in a predominantly white environment with all that silence.” She gave the example of her husband. Kim and her family live in a predominantly white middle class town west of St. Louis. Her husband works out at a nearby gym. One morning, shortly after the reports of three consecutive shootings of Black men by white police officers just days apart, her husband was at the gym, working out. He was on the treadmill, when a white man came up to him and said, “Man, I am so sorry.” She said her husband just about fell off the treadmill; he was so touched by the man’s words.

Take Action

So that she doesn’t feel stressed out by my silence, Kim helped me understand that I can:

1. Imagine how a news story might be heard from a different perspective.
2. Ask how a recent news event has impacted her; and
3. Affirm her feelings, even if they are different from my own.

To affirm another’s feelings about an experience, even if different from our own is the first of our Communication Guidelines in our cross-race discussions. We do this through active listening. Along with awareness of cultural characteristics, this is what enables Pastor Sims and me to have folks of varied races, genders, and ages learn and grow together in our Courageous Conversations. -AN

Thank you Kim for your thoughtful interview questions. Along with being a YouTuber, Kim also has her own business We Do Laundry in Ballwin, MO 

“What makes listening hard is that sometimes we do not really care how the other person feels,” explains Burley-Allen, (1995) in Listening, the Forgotten Skill. “This usually happens when we ourselves don’t feel heard, or when we have too much to say. The key to effective listening is being able to temporarily suspend our own need to be heard.”

Suspending my own need to be heard got harder when I began advising business leaders on how to develop robust inclusive corporate environments. The more I learned about the need for racial and cultural reconciliation to create collaborative space, the stronger my opinions became. For months, I went through the motions of the active listening steps (I Thought I Was Listening). I knew I could dig deeper and listen more actively but something was in the way. I struggled inside.

Feeling Urgency

Change wasn’t happening fast enough. I was frustrated and angry people didn’t seem to understand that lives are at stake. When I shared my frustration with a colleague, she reminded me that reconciliation work isn’t about me. I was brought up short.

I realized that if change was to come about, it begins within. One morning I sat quietly, pondering where to start. After a time, I felt my anger and then eventually the underlying fear. I noticed how the anxiety felt in my body. For the first time, I was really aware of how the urgency was impacting me. I took it at face value and didn’t blame myself for the feelings. And strangely enough, I felt quieter. In my meditation, peace had the opportunity to settle around me. And while I certainly still felt the urgency, I noticed an accompanying sense of calm and resolve enveloped me.

Later on, I realized that I had applied the active listening practice to myself!

5 Steps for Listening Within

1. Sit or lie quietly
2. Close eyes and notice the sounds around
3. Become aware of feelings, both physical and emotional
4. Work to stay with and accept those feelings, especially when they aren’t pleasant
5. Say, as if to a daughter or son, “That must be hard, I get it” or similar words of acceptance

I had become aware of the urgency I felt. It was in the quiet meditative state that I stayed with and accepted my feelings. When the calm became apparent, I understood how I wanted to take action. I would persevere with calm resolve for the sake of reconciliation. And just as I’d done for myself, I would hold the space for others by actively listening, to facilitate their own awareness, acceptance, and action. As a result, I’ve since become better at authentically listening within my family, corporate environments, and community conversations.

Thanks to my friend Kit McGrath, a Sponsor with Al-Anon who taught me about the 3 A’s: Awareness, Acceptance, and Action. -AN

After reading my December Blog, Taking Time, my sister, Anne Collier called to tell me how much she appreciated the reminder to be relationship-based, as opposed to task-based, even at work. As a journalist, youth advocate and director of The Net Safety Collaborative, piloting iCanHelpline.org, Anne does a great deal of listening and learning with her clients. She suggested I write this blog about a key ingredient to building effective relationships: Listening.

At one time, I thought listening meant hearing what a person had to say and then sharing a related experience or offering a solution. Then I was trained in Active Listening. In the first exercise of that training, over 25 years ago, I interrupted my partner twice to get clarification and then launched into my own related story. In our evaluation of each other’s skill level, my partner wrote, “I don’t think she heard a word I said.”

Active Listening Defined

Needless to say, I was brought up short and ready to learn how to do better by my partner. I learned that by definition active listening is paraphrasing the feeling or content of what was just said. In each case, whether I interrupt, relate my own story, or offer a solution, I am putting the focus back on me. To be a good listener, I have to keep the conversation focused on the speaker. I’ve since figured out that when I keep listening, I’ll eventually get clarification. And, if I use “I” statements, I’ve once again taken back the spotlight. So now I say something like, “That must have been hard for you,” or “That’s exciting, what happened next?!”

Easy Steps We Can Take to Really Listen

Because communication fails when people don’t feel heard:

• Use eye contact
• Acknowledge by nodding and saying Mm-hmm or Okay
• Listen for the message, both the content and feeling
• Let the person finish talking
• Paraphrase the content and feeling
• Keep listening until there is a sign that the speaker is ready to listen to you. Typically, you’re asked, “What do you think?” or “Am I right?”

Don’t:

• Pass judgement aloud on what you hear
• Interrupt
• Respond with solutions
• Look around mentally or physically

Burley-Allen (1995), in her book, Listening: the Forgotten Skill, explains that effective listening doesn’t indicate agreement. It indicates respect. In my work in reconciliation, it’s this respect that allows me to work with and honor people of varied backgrounds. Whether I’m helping business leaders develop robust corporate culture or co-facilitating a community conversation, the practice of active listening, affirming another’s experience, is one of the key elements that allows us all to feel like we belong.

Thanks to Anne for sharing the blog idea. -AN